Ask Questions

As I read, consider the news, listen to the talk shows, and think about the future, I often wonder what it will take for us to reclaim our country and culture. Voltaire is quoted as saying, “It is difficult to free fools from the chains they revere,” and that is the problem. Otherwise sensible people accept and even approve of the loss of their own freedom, thinking they are supporting the good. I want every child well-educated, don’t you? I admire good teachers, and our public schools are the best, aren’t they? Nobody wants sick people not to get good medical care, do they? We need the government to keep our food supply safe, protect us from pollution, and keep people from the evils of prejudice, right?

I don’t know, exactly, where innocent presumption merges into ignorant thoughtlessness, but at some point, many Americans are like the proverbial ostrich, hiding their minds in the sands of denial, unwilling to face the obvious problems in many aspects of American life and, more broadly, Western culture. Suicidal behavior often indicates mental instability, is associated with hopelessness and despair, but is also typical of immaturity. An ostrich that handles danger by hiding its head but leaving its much larger body exposed is most likely be crazy, remarkably stupid, and probably dead, more often than not!

I don’t know a great deal about ostriches, but I have generally not found birds to be especially bright. Yelling at a big bird to get it to move or stop doing something dangerous probably wouldn’t work, other than perhaps to scare it away. I can’t imagine pulling an ostrich to try to get its head out of the sand either; like many large beasts, it has considerable inertia and doesn’t have to work hard to stay where it is. Yet, most of the techniques that people use today are about as effective. Do you remember the Bickersons? Well, actually, I don’t remember them either, but I am well-acquainted with the nature of argument and the effectiveness of nagging. Generally, neither do much but aggravate. Proverbs 1:13b says “a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping.” Proverbs 21:9 adds “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife,” but Proverbs 29:22 warns “An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins.” I hear lots of arguing, nagging, and anger, light often surrounded by too much heat, that drives the doubtful, disputing, and dissenting away.

When I set up Right-Thinking, my townhall blog, I had already been thinking about how to get more wisdom and truth back into circulation. I wrote this:

Too many of us nice, non-confrontational people have become comfortable while those who imagine a different America work hard to impose their vision. We have indeed been the silent majority. We can't afford to be silent anymore. Many of our neighbors, co-workers, fellow students, and Christian brothers and sisters aren't really paying attention and don't really understand. Life for many is so good, even 9/11 hasn't upset their lifestyles very much. They are like the frog slowing being boiled to death, who never notices someone is raising the heat. It's our job to warn them to get out of the pot.

My goal is to alert people to that “pot” in which their “ostrich ass” (Please, excuse my mixed metaphors) is slowly being cooked. As I deliberated on this, I came up with “Keep it solid, keep it civil, and keep it simple”—truth, love, and brevity. This “bedrock” site features the “solid” truth, and my xanga site called “Table Talk” has always focused on the manner—civil, kind, respectful, and loving in the Biblical sense. I’m still working on the “simple.”

I still believe those three qualities must characterize our conversations, particularly as we try to interact with those who heads are in the sand and asses are in the crock-pot. We must know our stuff, be accurate, and honest; we must deal with people kindly, gently, and respectfully, even if they don’t; and we must package our ideas in almost slogan-like pithiness. As I said, I manage solid and civil, but I struggle with simple (What do you think? Here's an example).

For a long time, though, I have taught and used another method. Our problem, my problem, is that we talk too much and listen too little. We seek to drive our ideas into the minds of others like nails into hard wood with about as much success and often with the sort of pain a pounding a nail brings. We are too prone to say, “Listen to me,” and we too seldom say, “I’m listening,” and then actually listen. I even set up a radio show that I described as “listen radio,” rather than talk radio, to demonstrate the difference. How would that work in the venue I’m discussing here?

The answer is two words: “Ask questions.” I’d say one word, but I don’t mean “question,” as in express doubt or challenge. I don’t mean cross-examine, which can be as unpleasant as nagging. The purpose of asking questions is not to expose their ignorance or make them feel stupid. A good question will tell a person you care about them and what they think, if you actually interact what they say. Questions are not confrontations; they are invitations to think, and we could all stand to do a little more of that.

Here’s my new acronym: KICQASSS--Keep It Civil, Question, And Stay Simply Solid. Yeah, it’s a little cheesy, I know, but here’s my point. We cannot afford to be complacent about what’s happening in and to our country. The opportunity for individual freedom and the expression of genuine faith are slipping away into political correctness, multiculturalism, and big government socialism. The twin threats of radical Islam and irrational progressivism would create a society swept clear of folks like us, but many of “us” don’t see it, or choose not to notice. Our method must be gentle but powerful because our goal is “KICQASSS” victory!

When we try to tell them, they bury their heads; a comparative few argue and get in our faces. Most just stick there fingers in their ears and sing, “Na, na, na, na….” They don’t listen to talk radio, they don’t read conservative books or blogs, and they still listen to PBS and the six o’clock news. Many still imagine they live in the United States of “Ozzie and Harriet” or, at least, “Tim the Tool Man Taylor.” A younger flock of ostriches are too busy enjoying the good life to consider how fragile its future may be, but they don’t listen or read either. Their attention is fixed on MTV, MySpace, and the latest crop of celebrities, who use their fame to hate the President, to hype global warming and environmentalism, gripe about the war, and lead the parade into an elitist future. You can’t tell them their idols are stupid; they won’t listen either.

BUT, almost anyone will answer questions that show interest in them, their lives, their thoughts, and their insights. Of course, our questions need to show sincere interest; we cannot be phony or use questions just to reach a foregone conclusion. We cannot be afraid to hear what people have to say, what they think, or even what they’ve done or may be doing. Politics and religion are often the topics most avoided because they represent controversy and strife. Let’s face it. Those who have strong opinions and enjoy arguing can be pretty annoying, unless they agree with you. I used to hate the endless discussions of farm-related subjects at our family gatherings because I simply didn’t have the knowledge or interest to participate or enjoy them. That’s how a good many people feel about religion and politics.

Most of us, however, will talk about what we know to be in our best interest or to the benefit of those we love, especially our children. Those trying to make this country a very different place know that and use the children to promote their agenda. We need to be wiser and more effective than they, and the key is to ask genuine questions, questions that open up minds and hearts to issues that people perceive as important to their future and the future of their children and grand children. Even those mindlessly absorbed in their self-indulgent lifestyles may wake up to the threats to that very lifestyle, if we ask the right questions.

What are those questions? Just as, a while back, I started thinking about simple ways to say what I believe about important things, I want to start compiling lists of questions, just a few for each of the serious challenges we face. They are going to emphasize “Why?” and “What do you think about…” For example, a retired teacher uses these 3 questions: “What do you (really) want?” “What are you doing to get what you want?” and “Is it working?” His purpose in asking is to expose the counter-productive way that people live their lives. Then he can engage them in conversation about other ways that might work better.

I have begun a chart so I can list questions, post them, and give people the chance to challenge, suggest, and improve them. So far, I have a list of 30 issue areas related to what ought to be our national conversation. I may add the current crop of presidential candidates and maybe some of the key congressional leaders, and I want to do something similar for a list of critical spiritual issues. I hope you will give me some feedback, but more importantly, I want to encourage you to use them, to ask questions, and to work toward getting people’s heads out of the sand, their tail feathers out of the crock-pot, and our country back on track.

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